Did you get the one about the politician on your phone?

With the expansion of cell phone access and text messaging use, it was only a matter of time before it started – the SMS joke. And not surprisingly, few subjects are poked fun at more than local politics and of course the politicians.

"Da Vinci Code to be totally banned in the Philippines. GMA [Gloria Macapagal Arroyo] has been informed by Dan Brown that she is a direct descendant of Judas."

That’s one of the many SMS jokes being circulated throughout the Philippines making fun of the current president and her restrictive policies, among other things. Tonyo Cruz from TXTPower, and a MobileActive, passed on a bunch of the jokes that he’s seen sent around the country. You can read them all at the bottom of this post – thanks Tonyo!

The Philippines has been ahead of the curve in using cell phones for activism (remember the 2001 revolution and the Hello Garci ring tones), but SMS political jokes are spreading to other countries too. In Tamil Nadu, India, residents are sending out SMS jokes to make fun of the candidates from a recent election and their policies. One message circulating the region is an image of a candidate crying – supposedly showing her dismay at her party’s poor performance in the election. Another criticizes one party’s idea to give out “freebies,” saying that these practices will hurt businesses and make people lazy.

"Wake up, buy Dinakaran for Re 1, go to ration shop, buy rice for Rs 2, cook that rice in free gas stove, kept on two acres of free land."

But not all politicians are laughing these jokes off. After Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad received an SMS joke saying he didn’t bath enough, the government cracked down on text messages. Supposedly the head of Iran’s cell phone company has been fired, four people have been arrested, and the government is now regularly monitoring text messages – all started by one joke.

Zimbabwe is also trying to cut down the number of SMS jokes being sent around that are critical of the government and current state of the country. One that is currently making the rounds reads, "It's hard work being a despot. There is never a break for me." When he first learned he was the brunt of several SMS jokes last year, President Robert Mugabe didn't take any direct actions against the jokes. But now as the country is quickly falling apart, with rapidly rising inflation, steadily declining in economic activity, and frequent food shortages, the government is trying to squash the spread of the jokes. The government is currently working on a law that would permit public officials to read their citizens' emails and text messages. You would think that considering the state of the country, officials would have better ways to spend their time than to spy on Zimbabweans spreading jokes. (via Textually)

More jokes from the Philippines:

I love GMA [Gloria Macapagal Arroyo]. I support GMA. I don't want GMA to resign! (Send ds 2 20 friends & in 3 days U will lose 20 friends.) U will be sorry for your lapse in judgment!

Cardinal Sin [former Manila Archbishop Jaime Cardinal Sin] wish b4 dying is 4 GMA & Mike [Gloria Macapagal Arroyo’s husband] 2b on his side. D 1st couple askd: We R honored but Y us? Crdl Sin: I want 2 die lyk CHRiST w/ 2 thieves by my side

On a plane
GMA: If I throw P100 , 100 wil b hapi.
Mike: If throw P1000, 1000 wil b hapi.
PILOT: If I throw u both, millions wil b hapi!

Terrorists kidnapped GMA & demanded ransom money. "Pay us P500 million or we will set her on fire," demanded the ransom note. Bankrupt govt asked ppl for donations. So far, donations totaled 2T liters of gasoline. A grp of businessmen offered another 2T liters if Ramos and De Venecia were included.

Attention: Politiko Big Brother is postponed indefinitely. Globe and Smart [two biggest telecos in the Philippines] overloaded, 80 million Filipinos texted they want to evict GMA and JDV.

GMA 2 PNP: there is a group that is out to destroy me and my family.
PNP: we confirm that maam. The group is known as the PUBLIC.

Clinton and GMA were clasmates, di ba? Clinton's scandal had to do with a cigar. GMA's scandal has to do with garci [nickname of Virgilio Garcillano].

A man died & was asked by St. Peter: where are you from?
Man: Philippines po!
St. Peter: aha, from Gloria! you may enter heaven… You've suffered enough!

After an accident, GMA asked a man hu saved her wat reward he wants
Man: Wheelchair!
GMA: Y a wheelchair? U weren't hurt, r u?
Man: Wen my folks know I saved you, they'd break my legs